Building Connections and Asking for Help
The most basic relationship is a transactional relationship. A transactional relationship involves a barter or a trade. It is often limited in scope and does not create long term benefits. Pursuing a successful career in an ever challenging world, we need to remind ourselves that our success depends on transformative relationships. Transformative relationships are relationships that truly support your endeavors. These relationships involve individuals that are looking out for your professional best interests and will be your advocate. Conversely, you would want to offer the same for these individuals. So how do we cultivate transformative relationships? First, we need to make sure the individual is interested in supporting your career in such tangible ways. So, be explicit in your request. State your one year and five years goal and ask him/her how he can support you. If the individual does not offer concrete ways to support you, don't take it personally. Instead, continue to reach out to others. Also, remember to do the same for those who proactively reach out to you for support. The most successful transformative relationships are usually with your peer group (this includes individuals who were colleagues in your previous role, college or graduate school friends and current colleagues).
The averaged unemployed professional usually takes six months before they announce their unemployment status to their family and friends. This is probably due to embarrassment, denial or faith that he/she will be able to land another role before their unemployment benefits expire. The best time to ask for help is immediately! Do not wait to announce your employment/career goals! If you notice a company wide or departmental wide laid off, don't stay in your role just because it was spared this round of laid offs. Proactively reach out to your network and ask for potential opportunities.
Take advantage of employment placement services if offered to you as part of your severance package. In most cases, employment placement services will land you a job faster than if you search for one on your own. The service will also allow you to connect with other recently unemployed individuals. Instead of avoiding such potential connections, proactively reach out and befriend these individuals. You will be surprised when one of them land a job, they will not hesitate to recommend you for an available role due to your friendship. Be genuine and honest with your struggles. These professional relationships often blossom to lifelong friendships.
Seek advice from a career coach as you begin to explore other industries. They serve as an objective voice and will let you know if you have the transferable skills that enables you to break into another industry.
The averaged unemployed professional usually takes six months before they announce their unemployment status to their family and friends. This is probably due to embarrassment, denial or faith that he/she will be able to land another role before their unemployment benefits expire. The best time to ask for help is immediately! Do not wait to announce your employment/career goals! If you notice a company wide or departmental wide laid off, don't stay in your role just because it was spared this round of laid offs. Proactively reach out to your network and ask for potential opportunities.
Take advantage of employment placement services if offered to you as part of your severance package. In most cases, employment placement services will land you a job faster than if you search for one on your own. The service will also allow you to connect with other recently unemployed individuals. Instead of avoiding such potential connections, proactively reach out and befriend these individuals. You will be surprised when one of them land a job, they will not hesitate to recommend you for an available role due to your friendship. Be genuine and honest with your struggles. These professional relationships often blossom to lifelong friendships.
Seek advice from a career coach as you begin to explore other industries. They serve as an objective voice and will let you know if you have the transferable skills that enables you to break into another industry.
Appreciate and embrace a world with more options
When we were children, we tended to view the world in absolutes. "This is right! This is wrong! You can eat this! You shouldn't eat that!" As adults we forget that the world is filled with shades of grey and there are many points in the spectrum of what we are able to do or accomplish.
When teaching a health fitness class, students often approach me afterwards and complain that they just don't have an hour a day to set aside to "workout." My response is usually, "do what you can when you can." If that means, working out for 15 minutes or walking an extra mile, then go ahead and do that. Why does it need to be an hour workout or nothing?
This mentality often creeps up in the corporate world as well. When coaching professionals, I often observe frustration and a sense of desperation. Someone might feel frustrated and set an arbitrary goal of "If I don't get a promotion in six months, I am out of here!" Instead of being rigid with a certain goal or timeframe, take a step back. Look for progress towards your goal. Okay, so you may not have received your desired promotion but you were given a great opportunity to lead a new cross functional project that provides you with invaluable experience.
By observing and acknowledging our progress towards our goals, we will stress less and begin enjoying our journey towards our goals. The key is to ensure that we truly are making progress versus making excuses.
When teaching a health fitness class, students often approach me afterwards and complain that they just don't have an hour a day to set aside to "workout." My response is usually, "do what you can when you can." If that means, working out for 15 minutes or walking an extra mile, then go ahead and do that. Why does it need to be an hour workout or nothing?
This mentality often creeps up in the corporate world as well. When coaching professionals, I often observe frustration and a sense of desperation. Someone might feel frustrated and set an arbitrary goal of "If I don't get a promotion in six months, I am out of here!" Instead of being rigid with a certain goal or timeframe, take a step back. Look for progress towards your goal. Okay, so you may not have received your desired promotion but you were given a great opportunity to lead a new cross functional project that provides you with invaluable experience.
By observing and acknowledging our progress towards our goals, we will stress less and begin enjoying our journey towards our goals. The key is to ensure that we truly are making progress versus making excuses.
You will be as successful as those around you
You've heard it before. Surround yourself with winners and you will become a winner! Network with successful people and you will become successful. Actually, this is poor advice. In reality, you will become successful when you are generous enough and confident enough to help those around you achieve their own personal success. In other words, you cannot become a leech and feed off of the success of others. You need to actively contribute to the success of others in order to have personal success.
1 - Actively find out what are some obstacles or challenges of those in your network. Think of ways you can potentially help.
2 - Share advice, resource and encouragement. If you are not able to help at the moment, be an encouraging friend and good listener.
3 - Actively share with those around you what your own goals are and be honest with them. Share your concerns and obstacles and actively ask for help!
4 - Accept that there may be times when you are the one providing resources and connections. That is okay. You will be known for your generosity and kindness. That positive energy and karma will come back and help you in the near future.
5 - Celebrate the success of others by actively recommending their services to others. Tell them how they can help you as well.
Success can come with only your individual effort but it comes so much easier and quicker with the mutual support of others.
1 - Actively find out what are some obstacles or challenges of those in your network. Think of ways you can potentially help.
2 - Share advice, resource and encouragement. If you are not able to help at the moment, be an encouraging friend and good listener.
3 - Actively share with those around you what your own goals are and be honest with them. Share your concerns and obstacles and actively ask for help!
4 - Accept that there may be times when you are the one providing resources and connections. That is okay. You will be known for your generosity and kindness. That positive energy and karma will come back and help you in the near future.
5 - Celebrate the success of others by actively recommending their services to others. Tell them how they can help you as well.
Success can come with only your individual effort but it comes so much easier and quicker with the mutual support of others.
Begin Again
"Fall seven times, get up eight." Japanese Proverb
A number of clients that I have either coached or taught classes to, often ask me how to improve in certain areas of their life. They usually share their past failures and experience disappointments. The key to success inevitably involves failure along the way. When we eventually reach success, we often overlook the many setbacks that we have experienced along the way. In reality, we fail and fail often in order to achieve worthwhile goals. So the key to success is to face failures and continue to move forward. The following are some steps I have learned along the way.
1- Track and celebrate mini wins! If you are training for a marathon, celebrate each time you are able to extend your long run or increase your mileage per week. If you are applying for a job, celebrate each time you are offered an interview (do not wait until you have landed a job to acknowledge your accomplishment).
2- Identify areas for improvements! We will continue to repeat mistakes until we are able to learn from them. So the next time you face a failure, ask yourself the following - What could I do differently next time? What could I prepare for? What have I learned from this?
3- Ask for help and accept help! It is difficult to ask for help because somehow we think that it is associated with a sign of failure. There is nothing wrong with asking for and receiving help. This includes asking for job referrals, interviewing tips, assistance, etc.
4- Thank others for their help! We often are so caught up with our own success that we immediately forget to acknowledge the help we have received from others along the way. It is so important to offer timely acknowledge and gratitude to those who have helped us along the way.
5- Caste a wider net! Sometimes we are so focused on that one job or one role or one goal that we forget we can increase our chances of success if we pursue many goals and caste a wider net. So for those of you who have set their job radius within 20 miles, perhaps consider moving to another city. For those of you who consider only similar job titles/roles of your current role, consider pursuing a role that always excited you (but you may not have the skills set yet).
I remember when I began my marketing career many years ago, a number of interviewers questioned how would a "finance" person be able to transition into a marketing role. I explained to the interviewers that my "go getter" personality and "quick learning" attitude will enable me to race through the learning curve. Perhaps they were impressed by my overconfidence or perhaps I just casted a wide enough net, success comes by overcoming barriers, not by avoiding them.
A number of clients that I have either coached or taught classes to, often ask me how to improve in certain areas of their life. They usually share their past failures and experience disappointments. The key to success inevitably involves failure along the way. When we eventually reach success, we often overlook the many setbacks that we have experienced along the way. In reality, we fail and fail often in order to achieve worthwhile goals. So the key to success is to face failures and continue to move forward. The following are some steps I have learned along the way.
1- Track and celebrate mini wins! If you are training for a marathon, celebrate each time you are able to extend your long run or increase your mileage per week. If you are applying for a job, celebrate each time you are offered an interview (do not wait until you have landed a job to acknowledge your accomplishment).
2- Identify areas for improvements! We will continue to repeat mistakes until we are able to learn from them. So the next time you face a failure, ask yourself the following - What could I do differently next time? What could I prepare for? What have I learned from this?
3- Ask for help and accept help! It is difficult to ask for help because somehow we think that it is associated with a sign of failure. There is nothing wrong with asking for and receiving help. This includes asking for job referrals, interviewing tips, assistance, etc.
4- Thank others for their help! We often are so caught up with our own success that we immediately forget to acknowledge the help we have received from others along the way. It is so important to offer timely acknowledge and gratitude to those who have helped us along the way.
5- Caste a wider net! Sometimes we are so focused on that one job or one role or one goal that we forget we can increase our chances of success if we pursue many goals and caste a wider net. So for those of you who have set their job radius within 20 miles, perhaps consider moving to another city. For those of you who consider only similar job titles/roles of your current role, consider pursuing a role that always excited you (but you may not have the skills set yet).
I remember when I began my marketing career many years ago, a number of interviewers questioned how would a "finance" person be able to transition into a marketing role. I explained to the interviewers that my "go getter" personality and "quick learning" attitude will enable me to race through the learning curve. Perhaps they were impressed by my overconfidence or perhaps I just casted a wide enough net, success comes by overcoming barriers, not by avoiding them.
Little Changes Add Up over Time
When faced with job insecurity and economic uncertainty, one often tends to feel paralyzed from making meaningful changes in life. However, there are often equal or greater risks in staying in the same circumstances or situation. Therefore, it is important to continue to explore how one can evolve and improve one's circumstances. Such improvements are often viewed as "major changes" in life, however, small positive changes are equally important to pursue in order to move forward in life. The following are some simple changes in life that can make a major difference over time.
Increase in Physical Activity
When hearing friends or acquaintances pursue ambitious goals such as completing their first marathon and triathlon, there might be a perceived pressure to pursue similar goals. However, one must consider the various other priorities in life and also take into account his or her unique circumstances. Instead of taking "an all or nothing" attitude, consider a specific goal such as walking an extra 20 minutes each day.
Substitute one Sugared Drink with Water instead
The average American consumes 5 or more sugared drinks per day (this includes juices, soda, coffee or other flavored drinks). Consider a specific goal such as substituting one sugared drink with water instead. So for example, instead of reaching for your regular mid-afternoon coffee, consider drinking water instead.
Introduce Yourself to one new person a week
A person's network size and diversity is directly correlated with his or her professional success. How do you grow your network? Consider introducing yourself to one new person a week. In addition to finding out their name, find out his or her interests and determine if there are any shared common interests. In a year, you would have met at least 50 new acquaintances or friends.
Sleep Ten Minutes Earlier
The average person sleeps only five to six hours per night when the recommended hours of sleep is 7-8. However, with so many priorities and deadlines, who really has the time to sleep more? Consider sleeping and going to bed ten minutes earlier at night and determine how you feel the next morning.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." (Lao Tzu)
Increase in Physical Activity
When hearing friends or acquaintances pursue ambitious goals such as completing their first marathon and triathlon, there might be a perceived pressure to pursue similar goals. However, one must consider the various other priorities in life and also take into account his or her unique circumstances. Instead of taking "an all or nothing" attitude, consider a specific goal such as walking an extra 20 minutes each day.
Substitute one Sugared Drink with Water instead
The average American consumes 5 or more sugared drinks per day (this includes juices, soda, coffee or other flavored drinks). Consider a specific goal such as substituting one sugared drink with water instead. So for example, instead of reaching for your regular mid-afternoon coffee, consider drinking water instead.
Introduce Yourself to one new person a week
A person's network size and diversity is directly correlated with his or her professional success. How do you grow your network? Consider introducing yourself to one new person a week. In addition to finding out their name, find out his or her interests and determine if there are any shared common interests. In a year, you would have met at least 50 new acquaintances or friends.
Sleep Ten Minutes Earlier
The average person sleeps only five to six hours per night when the recommended hours of sleep is 7-8. However, with so many priorities and deadlines, who really has the time to sleep more? Consider sleeping and going to bed ten minutes earlier at night and determine how you feel the next morning.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." (Lao Tzu)
